Childhood Dreams

They told us to fly, to run, to jump. They said with the right mindset doors would open up to us, and opportunities would always present themselves. They filled us up with hope, and dreams of a better tomorrow. Laughter always rung throughout the hallways, and familiar faces rushed past from every direction.

Back then I felt like I could take on the world, and maybe I did just a little. When I finally escaped my familiar world, I realised that moving away from your childhood safety net was hard. I wanted nothing more than my freedom and independence, but once gained, no longer felt the way I imagined it would. I craved every phone call home, and the chance to return felt like a miracle.

It’s funny how much things change when you see them from another perspective.

I remember once when I was about 13 years old, I came home with a massive smile on my face and told my family that I’d had a massive revelation, I wanted to be a swimming coach when I grew up. It seemed so important to me at the time. Their laughter cut like glass at the time, and I angrily said something along the lines of ‘why aren’t you supporting me, I’ve finally got an answer to the frustrating question everyone asks- what do you want to be when you grow up?’ That idea didn’t last long, a few weeks later I wanted to be a marine biologist, then a engineer, then a doctor.

Every time I felt more and more confused as to who I wanted to be. Having a value set you strived to live by wasn’t enough, you needed a definite answer when people asked you that question. Eventually I settled on an answer that was acceptable and the questions subsided, but in my head I still really had no idea. Having no clue was scary, and it wasn’t long until I’d be launched into the world, and hopefully land on my feet.

This past year has certainly been an adventure, and I’ve learnt so much about life. It has definitely been a journey getting to where I am today, but I have a lot of supportive family and friends helping me find my way.

I’m starting to work out who I am, now that I know you’re not defined by your answer to the big question that’s always on repeat as you grow up. Though I may only be at the start of my working life, I think I’m on the right track, and that’s certainly somewhere i’m happy to be.

Late Night Ramblings from my Desk,

Kate

(Originally published in 2016)